Bats In The Belfry

Sixteen short stories that round out the human condition. Easy, rewarding reading.

SEANCE CHAT@LIVINGDEAD.COM

From: Sigourney@alien.com

Ken, how did you get in the apartment?

From: Louie@down.com

AM, what are the chances or renewing membership? Let's talk.

From: Ken@bogeyman.com

Sigourney, I broke down the door.

From: Adolf@hot.com

Anybody know how to delete URL's?

From: Lola@sex.com

Anybody need a date?

From: Sigourney@alien.com

Ken, why, you had a key?

From: Joe@$$forkiss.com

Lola, I do.

From: Gertrude@stein.com

All of you, if this conversation doesn't get any better better better fast, I'm logging off.

From: AM@up.com

AM is okey dokey.

From: Ken@bogeyman.com

Sigourney, I wanted to make a statement. Every since you brought me home, gave me this stupid Ken name, you've been promising to take me out to dinner.

From: Ben@franklin.com

Hey Gertrude, stick it.

From: Lola@sex.com

Joe, how much?

From: Vincent@price.com

Help, I'm trapped in an eggroll!

From: Joe@$$forkiss.com

Lola, before we talk bucks, what do you look like?

From: LarryF@hustler.com

I have a great idea for a TV sitcom, it takes place in a men's locker room with a peep hole into the lady's . . . I can't give away the plot, but it would be live from behind the scenes, three hours, prime time, anybody want to write it?

From: Bill@zsu.com

I need a synopsis (English Lit) on The Brother's Karamozzz (spelling) by that Russian guy.

From: Lola@sex.com

Joe, I have long blond hair and blue eyes, am five foot two, 22-30-40

From: Peg@bitch.com

Why couldn't it have been the Sister's Karamozzz?

From: Gertrude@stein.com

Franklin, be that way, and to all of you, I'm going no mail forever ever ever ever.

From: AM@up.com

AM is okey dokey.

From: FScott@fitz.com

Larry, what will you pay if I write it?

From: Allen@funt.com

Larry F., I think you stole my idea.

From: Kathy@bleed.com

Sigourney, why did you lock the door on Ken? And why don't you take him to dinner?

From: Pete@guy.com

Joe, re: Lola–little tits, big ass.

From: GeorgeW@mtvernon.com

Adolf, you can get a delete URL's download at http\\history.kill.dada.com for twenty me's, get it?

From: Ed@sullivan.com

Bill, I had the Flying Karamazovs Brothers on my shew, they're jugglers, hope that helps.

From: Vincent@price.com

Help, I'm trapped in a fortune cookie!

From: Rod@serling.com

Everybody is stealing my ideas!

From: LarryF@hustler.org

FScott, what do you mean, pay?

From: Anton@chekov.com

Rod/Larry, the peep hole is my idea, read my story, “On The Sea,” and relax.

From: Sigourney@alien.com

Kathy, buzz off, it's none of your business.

From: Michael@wingsgolden/gate.com

Adolf, why do you want to delete your URL's?

From: Sally@less.com

Joe, I do what Lola does for free.

From: Vincent@price.com

Help, I'm trapped in a bottle of Kikkoman soy sauce!

From: Peggy@bitch.com

I still want to know why it has to be Brother's Karazozz, aaand who the hell is AM?

From: Sigourney@alien.com

Ken, I don't think I want to see you anymore

From: AM@up.com

AM is okey dokey.

From: Harry@houdini/\\/.rosabelle.com

Vincent, one, two, three and there is a way to get out. Buy handcuffs on tomorrow nights' PBS antique show. P.S. Interested to know how you got the computer in the soy sauce jar with you.

From: Ken@bogeyman.com

Sigourney, does this mean you don't love me anymore?

From: Peggy@bitch.com

Ken, awwwwwww, poor thing.

From: Bess@spousehoudini.com

Harry, where are you?

From: AM@up.com

Repeat, AM is okey dokey.

From: Sigourney@alien.com

Ken, yes and I get to keep the lap top, cell phone, and Oreck vacuum cleaner. You can have Tammi Fay, the cookies, and your rubber doll. As to you Pegs baby, get screwed.

Vincent, all you need now is a Little Boy, Enola Gay, and a Nagasaki. Hee hee hee.

Bill, The Brother's Karamazov is a movie staring Bruce Willis and Danny DeVito. Bruce owns a bagel factory in Iraq funded by the CIA. Danny delivers.

What has no top and three bottoms? Hint, rhymes with hola and starts with L. As to you Sigourney, eat it!

All you guys need a good shit detector. And you, Bill@zsu, the Russian guy is Fedor Dostoevski. The story is The Brother's Karamazov. In a nutshell it's about God being dead and, if He is, everything is history so you can go pig out and muck anybody who gets in your way. That's free. I'm not buying it so I'm logging off and going to go dig up Adam, kick his dumper then have a raw turtle egg breakfast with pickled herring and lots of yellow creamery butter. Then I'm going to go kick Lucifer's dumper, pick up Eve and we're going to grab as many big red apples as we please, eat them, then jump in the rack for a week. After that I'm going to sit down and rewrite the whole mucking thing.